I can’t believe that Im doing this. Well yes I can. I want a better life. I want all that I can imagine and dream of. I want to finally answer that voice inside of me screaming to do more. I’m better than any nine to five job. What I bring to the table can’t be timed. How far I can see can’t be limited. I’m a goal oriented guy, but I’m goal oriented in the wrong field of work. I mean sure what I bring to the table gets renewed every four years and the sight that I have is to foresee a mile to a mile in a half ahead of me during operations. However, that’s not the vision for me that I see.
You see this is a huge step for me. I am a introverted guy with great capabilities. It just took me a long time to accept who I am and move past who I aimed to be. I aimed to be a jock, that can handle the rock and perceive being a intelligent young man as a waste. I seen early on as a young kid that the world around me invested money, time and attention to those that could entertain. I soon found out that I could jump high and run fast. So I felt that I had a gift to be an athlete. Why I focused so much on being an athlete? Well when I was a little kid I was told things like you’re so weird. You’re dumb. You’re stupid. You’re never going to amount to anything. You’re not good at anything. You’re a follower, not a leader. You’re the black race last resort. You’re flamboyant. You’re just like your dad he was nothing and you’re not going to be anything as well. So I decided to spend majority of my youth being closed, quiet and off to myself. I soon began to lower myself by doing things that would appeal to the very one’s attacking my character so they could accept me. I have certain ones in my life that could see through the hurt and pain of feeling inadequate. They would tell me keyshaun you are very smart and you have something that God wants to use. I would reply to them saying “I’m not smart, I am average.” It wasn’t the same. It wasn’t enough for me to hear positive things about me. The negative out weighed the positive. So I kept doing enough just to get by but I didn’t realize that seconds turned into minutes. Minutes turned into hours. Hours turned into days. Days turned into months. Months turned into years and I were slowly becoming the very thing that I labeled myself as. Average.
But I am proud to say that I did not allow myself to become average. I’m now twenty five years old and graduated May 2017 from NIU with my bachelors of science degree in psychology. No, I will not pursue a master’s degree or a Ph.d. I have my sights set on something much greater than that. However, the things that I experienced in twenty five years have set in motion for me the opportunity to share what I been through and the knowledge on how to overcome.
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