These six reasons are crucial in your development of being secure in who you are as a person. Stop allowing people to present themselves as a totem of something that you should be appeasing with everything you say and do. Living life to please someone else is not realistic or healthy. It’s the opposite. Living to prove yourself to others is miserable.
Never do a single thing in the anticipation to prove something to someone who has hurt you. If someone has hurt or offended you (whoever that person may be), never perform anything or strive for anything in your life with the mind of proving something to that someone/ to those people. May nothing that you do be done with any thought of them in mind. There is nothing that needs to be proven.
C. JoyBell C.
Why Do People Get Defensive?
The feeling of criticism from a individual is off putting. You begin to feel misunderstood and want to immediately correct that person on their wrong assumptions about you. Now you begin to get defensive and rehearse ways of how you are right and they are wrong.
I personally believe that the problem is not what that person said. The problem is why they said it and who they said it to. When people are criticized it’s a feeling of being threatening. People take the approach of you don’t know me to be saying that. A person will be more open to criticism if they respect the person that the criticism is coming from.
People generally accept what someone has to say about them if that individual that is criticizing them appears to have their life in order. Let’s just say the person criticizing is viewed in the eyes of the person being criticized does not meeting the qualifications to even give their opinion. Is more likely to have his/her words seen as a threat. Rather as helpful and meaningful.
Now criticism is good. It helps you know what you doing from what you should or should be doing. However living for the views and opinions of others. Whether you respect them or not is dangerous. Through criticism people structure their life after what has been told to them.
Now I said criticism was good but I never said that all criticism is correct. It’s time for people to take back control over their lives and be secure in who they are. This is critical to know. The reason for people getting defensive when they are criticised. Has a lot to do with that individual not taking full responsibility and accountability in checks and balances over their own life.
You would have to put someone in their place if you knew yours. The feeling of being misunderstood will not affect you. This is because you don’t care. You already know that whatever that individual is saying about you is false. He/she is just talking and couldn’t be more further from the truth.
These are the six reasons why you should stop living to prove some wrong.
Don’t buy into the negativity. Reason why people are crticising you is because of who you are. Some people are threatened by others lives. These people are admiring who you are and wish that they were you. It’s critical that you have wisdom and understanding when you are faced with someone who likes to criticise. You need to be able to analyze if what they are saying is to build you up or tear you down.
2. You Know What’s Best For You
Stop letting everyone tell you what you should and shouldn’t be doing. Every person is not going to have your best interest at heart. Do not loose yourself because you want to be understood and accepted. It’s not worth it. You don’t want to receive validation from people that want you to change who you are to appease them.
If those around you whether family members or friends can’t accept you for who you are. Then, let them go. Speak who you are. Be bold, brave and unapologetic about it. Love the man/women that you are and becoming. Don’t sacrifice your dignity, morals and self-respect to be accepted by individuals that love and acceptance for you is conditional. Learn to be by yourself and embrace solitude. Also, when you do get around people surround yourself with those where both of you can add substance into one another life.
3. People’s Opinions Shouldn’t Matter
Don’t take what a person say about you to the heart. Sometimes what people say about you is true and other times it’s false. That’s the beauty of a opinion. It don’t have to be correct and it don’t have to be false either.
It never ceases to amaze me of how critical people are of one another. You have to laugh at this. If a person were to do half of the things that they are telling you is right for your life. Just imagine how their life would have turned out?
Sometimes you have to take people’s opinions lightly. People don’t know what one another should be doing. Hell, most people barely know what they themselves should be doing. Trust me, the next time you are being criticised. Take a look into the person’s life you is doing the critising and you’ll see that their life is not lining up with what they are talking about.
4. The Only Person That You Should Prove Something To Is You
Don’t live for others approval. You have nothing to prove to people and people have nothing to prove to you. This is your life and the most high has given you the power to make changes that will better you. Start by analyzing your life. See what you can improve on and make it your goal daily to accomplish just that.
5. It’s Impossible To Please Everyone
You can’t make everyone. Just like people don’t what you truely need. You don’t know what people need. Everyone is different and is on a different level in life. Your focus should be solely on you and pleasing the most high. You must stop doing this because pleasing people is hard and miserable.
Just like the line in the movie Bruce Almighty when the character of God played by Morgan Freeman says to Bruce after he told God that he was trying to give people what they wanted. God responded since when do people know what they want.
That is a true statement. It is impossible to give others what they want when you don’t know what they want. That’s why it’s very important that you focus on yourself. Trying to give everybody what they want and are looking is miserable, draining, and sucks. You receive no appreciation and gratitude for not missing out on the opportunities in your life. All you are left with is regret, heartache and pain.
6. Understand And Appreciate Yourself
Remember people treat you based on how you treat yourself. If you don’t understand yourself. No one is going to understand you for you. If you don’t appreciate yourself. No is going to appreciate you for you. Everything that you do starts and ends with you. It is important that you see yourself as valuable. Stop seeking self-validation through individuals that are lost in the sauce as well. Two wrongs don’t make it right. Both people needing validation, understanding and acceptance. Who do you think is going to give while the other takes.
Think about. Duces!!!
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